Moving on... or not

I just finished my eighth straight day of work, and I've got five more to go. I feel like I'm back in journalism. :( I'm tired, and I've got a friend coming into town this weekend, so by the time I finally get a day off on Tuesday, I'm going to be exhausted. In other words, I might not bother posting anything for a week or so.

I don't know why I'm writing tonight, because I need to just go ahead and crawl in bed. But I just feel like I need to, because I'm frustrated. I have a dilemma. How do you stop liking someone who you know cares about you and who's never treated you badly--especially when you see him every day? It's never been too hard for me to get over someone before. If a guy I like doesn't return the affection, well, unrequitted love doesn't do much for me, so I move on. And if a guy doesn't treat me right and it's time to go--it may hurt for a little while, but it doesn't take long to get over wanting to be with him.

But here's a situation I've never dealt with before. A guy who likes me. A guy who flirts with me all the time. A guy who makes me smile even when I don't want to. A guy who has always treated me with respect and always been honest with me. A guy who was never the guy I expected to fall for. BUT, he's afraid to pursue a relationship because of outside circumstances.

It's not that I'm in a hurry to be in a relationship--I haven't been out of one that long. It's just I want to be with him. I like spending time with him, and talking with him. I want to be able to confide in him, to go to him when I need a hug, and I want him to be able to do the same.

He's been sick the past couple of days, and all I can think about is how much I want to be the one to take care of him. I want to call him, make sure he's okay. I know it's just the flu or a cold and he'll be fine, but everybody needs someone to baby them when they're sick--I want to be that someone. But I'm resisting the urge to call him, because I don't want to pressure him.

So what do I do now? Be patient and see if the situation changes? See if how I feel changes? I told him I wasn't going to sit around and wait for something that might never happen. But, for the moment anyway, I don't know what choice I have. It wouldn't be fair of me to pursue something with someone else, because it would be just a temporary distraction. Maybe I'll meet someone who'll just blow me away and make me forget about him. But I doubt it, while I'm still tied in knots over him. So I guess I keep living life without him, on my own, and see if the feeling fades.