Helping Katrina's Victims

When I moved to S.C. right after college, one of the things I missed the most about the Charlotte area was listening to Ace & TJ in the morning. Luckily, a long two years later, I was flipping through stations and heard familiar voices--Ace & TJ had been syndicated. I was ecstatic.

Now I'm back in Charlotte, and I am reminded of why I love this show--and those two guys--so much. The show, which normally airs until 10 a.m., hasn't really stopped since Monday morning. They've been on the air, with the help of other radio station staff and countless volunteers, raising money and collecting much-needed items (like water, diapers, chain saws, etc.) for the victims of Hurricane Katrina.

What has been accomplished by this show and their "11 Listeners" is unbelievable. As of 8:30 this morning, when I had to wipe the tears from my eyes, leave my car, and go into work, they had filled EIGHT tractor trailers full of necessities to send to the Gulf and collected more than $80,000, which will go through the American Red Cross to provide aid to victims. My roommate Randi and I went to Family Dollar Monday and spent $20 each buying diapers, baby wipes and canned food to donate. We both felt like it wasn't much, like we wished we could do more. But in the end, we know it's through the little donations of lots of people--who may not be able to afford much, but still have much to give--that the victims of this tragedy will be able to pull themselves out of the mud and start over.

After spending an hour teary-eyed on my way to work, I'm getting teary-eyed again as I write this. So what I'm asking is this--I know funds are short for everyone, and most of those reading this aren't close enough to Charlotte to just swing by the radio station and drop off some cans of peas. But you can pack your lunch a couple extra times this month and send what you can--$5, $10, whatever--to help this incredible effort. Please, send a check, made out to the American Red Cross with "Hurricane Katrina" in the memo line, to Ace & TJ's Give to the Gulf, 4015 Stuart Andrew Blvd., Charlotte, NC 28217.

Oh, the Anticipation...

And now the countdown really begins... 12 more hours. I'm blogging at work (shame, shame on me--ok, that was my lame attempt at guilting myself) because I'm so excited that I can't concentrate and really have no motivation to work... despite the fact that I'm going to be off for the next six days and have a ton of stuff to do before I leave.

And in other news, Randi and I are hoping to sail, sail away next March. Our favorite morning radio show is doing a cruise for their annual radio family vacation, and we really hope to go. If I can only scrounge up $600 without prostituting myself. But if anyone else wants to go...it's a little cheaper if we have four to a room.

The Big Day

It's finally almost here! The "Big Day" is tomorrow! I'm not saying exactly what the "Big Day" is, but for those of you who know me and have been keeping up-to-date on my life, you'll understand. I am very excited and a little nervous at the same time, but I know things are going to go great. Stay tuned...

In Loving Memory

Alexander the Great mourns the loss of Mr. Bear.

Ted E. Bear (affectionately known as Mr. Bear) went home to be with his maker, Toys-R-Us, Sunday, Aug. 14, 2005. He will be deeply missed.
Mr. Bear died suddenly and unexpectedly in a domestic violence incident. He was mauled to death by the jealous companion of his lifetime partner.
Mr. Bear's time with us was short--he died at the young age of six weeks--but his was a life full of happiness and puppy slober.
Mr. Bear lived his whole life in Charlotte, N.C., as the loving companion of Alexander the Great (aka Alexander the Pup). Mr. Bear is also survived by his mother-in-law, Misty, his aunt, Randi, and Winnie, Alexander's loving (but unfortunately also jealous) companion.
Mr. Bear's hobbies included serving as a pillow, chew toy, and intimate companion for Alexander. Mr. Bear was always a faithful friend, and was never once heard complaining about Alexander's sometimes rough treatment of him.
Memorial services are at the home, and will consist of a ceremony that involves Alexander swinging Mr. Bear's corpse from side to side while holding him in his mouth.
In lieu of flowers, please send donations to: The Misty and Randi Need Groceries Fund, 101 Destitute Lane, Charlotte, N.C.

Eternal Optimism of the Female Mind

I used to think that people who stay in bad relationships, or who always end up with people who treat them badly, did so because of low self-esteem.

Until I realized that I was one of those people, and I have a close friend who is one of those people. But we don't have low self-esteem. Sure, we have the occasional moments of self-doubt, but for the most part, we know where we stand. We're both intelligent, fun, attractive, personable women, with a lot to offer.

But when you always end up in relationships that never seem to work, that are more work than enjoyment, you start to wonder why. For some people, I think the issue is self-esteem. For us, though, I think the issue is eternal optimism.

We are good people. Most of the people we knew growing up, and the people we keep closest to us now are good people. So we want to see the good in everyone. This unwavering belief in the goodness of people often leads us down one of two roads: Ignoring the Bad or Ignoring the Issues.

Ignoring the Bad
We see something innately good about someone--they're helpful to those less fortunate, they're unselfish, they're respectful of their elders. Whatever it is, we see it, and come to the conclusion that this is a good person, this is someone worth having in our lives. When something shows us the not-so-good side of this person, we ignore it, believing the good far outweighs it. Sometimes it does. But the problem with our eternal optimism is that we want so much to believe in the good of that person, we don't know how to draw a line, how to let go, can't recognize when the bad outweighs the good--when it's not worth it anymore. So we hang on to a sinking ship.

Ignoring the Issues
Sometimes it's not that there's something bad about a person that we're ignoring. Sometimes it just doesn't work. There's something keeping this person from providing what we need in a relationship--maybe an inability to communicate, unwillingness to commit, or just different life situations--but we so admire the good in this person, that we think we can work around it. And again, we hang on to a second ship.

Paving a New Road
When it comes down to it, I don't want to stop seeing the good in people, I don't want to be a cynic. But I don't want a string of failed relationships and a broken and bruised heart either. So I'm paving a new road. I'll still look for the good in people; but I'm adding some requirements to the list of what I need from a partner, besides just being "good." And if someone doesn't meet those standards, I won't keep holding on, trying to make it work. Just because I believe in someone's goodness doesn't mean I need them in my life, or that it's healthy for them to be there.

What I Need and Deserve
To officially turn down this new road, I'm putting in writing what I need (not just want) and deserve from anyone I choose to love:

• Honesty, respect and commitment
• Shared life goals and values
• Someone who can voice their feelings for me
• Someone who treasures me/someone I treasure
• Someone who tells me what I'm worth
• Someone who tells me I'm beautiful and makes me believe it
• Someone who makes me laugh and who can hold me when I cry
• Someone who will tuck me in at night if I fall asleep on the couch
• Someone who sees all my flaws and loves me anyway

The assignment for those of you reading this who've fallen into the same behavior pattern--make your own list, and leave it as a comment.