My family

When you get to your mid-20s and people find out you're not married and have no children, the first reaction is often to feel sorry for you. When they find out you're not really in a hurry to wed and not even sure if you want children, the reaction changes to surprise.

"But don't you want a family?" they ask. Yes, I want a family. But I already have one--well make that several.

Of course there is my family by blood--my mom, dad, older sis, two younger brothers, grandparents and so on. I love them all and they love me, but we have to--we're related. What really amazes me are my other families--the ones I'm not related to, who love me simply by choice.

I found the first of these families when I left for college. All by myself, 500 miles from home, I had never been more scared. It was sink or swim. But the without-a-question best thing about Wingate University is that it is not just a school--it is a family. In class, my professors were my professors. But outside of class, I could turn to them with any kind of problem--a paper I was having trouble with or a personal problem that I might normally look to my mom or sister for help with. When I graduated and ventured into the real world, it was every bit as sad as when I left home four years earlier. A couple of nights before I graduated, I walked through campus alone, with tears streaming down my face--my private goodbye to my second home. But the family I gained there is still with me--I still keep in contact with my professors, sometimes still turning to them for advice, and two fellow alum are now my best friends--one of them is even my roommate.

But I soon found another family. I moved to South Carolina, where, again, I knew no one. More self-assured, I at first relished living alone for the first time in my life, having time to myself. But after a few months, I got lonely. I soon started dating a guy there, though, and that changed. Things were never really great between us, but they were comfortable. And with him came his family. All born and raised in South Carolina, they were very different from my family, but they took me in almost immediately. I instantly gained another mom, dad, sister and my first niece. I am no longer with that guy, but they are still my family.

About two years ago, I found another family developing around me. I was working in a job where I was increasingly unhappy, but several new girls who were near my age came to work there at the same time. Almost overnight there seemed to be a close bond form between them, some of the current employees and me. I don't really understand what sequence of events caused this new family to form, but my "sisters" have come to mean quite a bit to me. Even though I've moved on to a new job (where, of course, I'm adding to my families), they still keep me up-to-date on all the hilarities and miseries of my old work place. And they provide multiple shoulders to cry on, even if it's over the phone, listening ears, and the moments of humor that make life worth it.

The point of all this--family is a priceless treasure, but sometimes we define family too narrowly. I don't have a husband. I don't have children. But I have a hell of a family...and I am blessed.