Missing It

I have a confession. A HUGE confession, for those of you who know me well.

I realized something this week. I miss IT. And by IT I mean journalism, specifically working for a newspaper. I inexplicably visited the N.C. Press Association's website yesterday, and saw an opening that caught my eye. I don't know why I was even looking, but then I started considering actually applying, and by the end of the day I had decided I was going to send in my resume. I must have lost my mind.

Again, those of you who know me well, know the love-hate relationship. My first newspaper experience was my senior year of high school. I hated it. For about six weeks, until I started to love it. And then my first semester at Wingate University, I signed on with The Weekly Triangle, mainly for something to do and a way to meet people. By my second semester I had switched majors and was officially in the journalism program. Half of my college memories were formed in the Triangle office. By my senior year, I was Editor in Chief.

After I graduated, I went straight into a job with The Index-Journal, a daily paper in Greenwood, S.C. Things didn't go so well there at the end, thanks to some management changes that resulted in some very biased journalism, but when I started, I was aiming for a Pulitzer. The hours were bad. The pay was bad. The stress was constant. And I loved it. There were some great moments and great stories while I was there. The changes that were made eventually led me to look for something else, and while I interviewed with a couple other papers, I ended up deciding I was a little burnt out and needed a break.

It's been a long break--five years--and after getting a taste of a 9-5, Monday-Friday schedule, I had pretty much decided I was never going back. And then I did that unexplainable thing yesterday, and pointed my browser to the N.C. Press site. I don't think I was in full control of my faculties.

So tonight, I am sitting here pouring over old clips, with memories flooding back, and realizing--I miss it. So much that I feel like going out and doing an interview right now. What exactly it is that I miss is hard to say. It's a mixture of many things that adds up to the magic elixir that is journalism--being in the middle of everything, meeting fascinating and extraordinary people, having the privilege of sharing their story with the world, finding just the right word or turn of phrase to convey exactly the thought or emotion you are looking for, and, yes, even just the ego boost of seeing your name in print.

I miss it.